


Consequences

by ddelusionall



Series: Mindfuck [2]
Category: JYJ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Broken Heart, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Did I mention angst, Double Penetration, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Sex, Ignored Safeword, Junsu has sex with other characters too, Junsu just wants someone to love him, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Manipulation of a Minor, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Underage Sex, Safeword Use, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Violent Sex, because angst, no happy ending, past dubious consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-02
Updated: 2011-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:20:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23829733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: Junsu knew seeing Jaejoong again wasn't going to be easy. But he didn't know it was going to be this hard.
Relationships: Kim Jaejoong/Kim Junsu (JYJ), Kim Jaejoong/Kim Junsu (JYJ)/Park Yoochun, Kim Jaejoong/Park Yoochun, Kim Junsu (JYJ)/Park Yoochun
Series: Mindfuck [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1716997
Kudos: 3





	1. Make It Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

**This fic contains violent emotional sex.**

"Stop fretting," Hyukjae said. He batted Junsu's hands away from his tie and straightened it. "Why are you so nervous?"

Junsu frowned, but said nothing. He couldn't tell Hyuk why he was so nervous. No one but his father would understand, and he definitely was not telling his father why he was so nervous.

"It's just a business party," Hyukjae said. "Stop acting like you've never been to one before."

That was part of the problem. Junsu hadn't been to a business party in Korea for about eight years.

"This party is half for you anyway."

Junsu sighed. "I know."

This party was definitely a big one. It celebrated his father's thirty years in business, a belated celebration for adding a senior partner, and like Hyukjae said, it was also commemorating Junsu's MBA degree from Columbia University in New York City.

"You know, you'd be a lot calmer if you’d suck me off," Hyukjae said with a grin.

"Fuck off," Junsu said. He stared at himself in the mirror. The suit he wore cost more than some people made in their lifetime. The black-on-black subtle cube pattern was hand stitched. The white silk shirt underneath ghosted along his soft skin. His previously burgundy hair was now black, because no son of his Kim Junhyuk was going to look like some punk idol. Junsu moved a piece of hair to fall differently, and then double checked his face and the subtle makeup on his skin.

“You look amazing,” Hyuk said and kissed his cheek.

Junsu knew it was true; he always looked good, but still, he took a deep breath. There was no way to mentally prepare himself for this moment. He was just going to have to jump in and deal with it. It's how he had to deal with anything that concerned Jaejoong.

\---

"Ah, there's my boy!" his father said and put an affectionate arm around Junsu's shoulders. Junsu stiffened, forcing a smile on his face, as he was suddenly in the middle of a circle of men. His fingers tightened around the stem as his champagne glass as he tried to keep his eyes away from Jaejoong.

"Memorize this face, gentlemen, because he's going to be sitting across from you during business deals and trolling your money into my bank account without you even realizing it."

The other men laughed. Junsu lowered his head, the humble son, and muttered something about hoping to be good enough.

"Son, this is Hyunjoong, who runs Saedeak Enterprises. Kyuhyun is his vice president." Junsu bowed and shook both of their hands. "And of course, this is Seunghyun who claims his company is the top of all the financial districts. And you remember Kim Jaejoong."

Junsu kept his face as blank as possible as he bowed to the man who'd fucked his teenage years up, literally and figuratively.

Jaejoong looked amazing. It had taken most of Junsu’s effort not to stare at him as the men mingled before dinner. But his eyes were drawn to the man again and again. Jaejoong wore a navy blue suit. The shirt underneath was a lighter shade of blue, almost white. His hair was a light brown, and the cut framed his face. He didn’t look a day over twenty-five. Junsu did a quick calculation in his head. Jaejoong was almost forty.

Junsu did not shake Jaejoong's hand, because Junsu was afraid of what touching the beautiful man would do to him.

Jaejoong smirked at him, sipping at his champagne glass. They made small talk, and Junsu averted his eyes from Jaejoong's piercing smirk as he answered questions from the other men.

When his father finally decided he had to meet other people, Junsu sighed in relief and turned away, feeling Jaejoong's eyes on his ass.

\---

"Thank you," Junsu said. He swallowed as the applause died down a little. "Thank you. It's good to be home and among honest Koreans again. I hope you allow me the time to implement some new practices into the company, and I promise that over the next thirty years, while serving you by my father's side, Kim and Kim Incorporated will continue to grow."

There was more applause and Junsu bowed again before taking his seat next to his father.

"Pretty words, baby," Jaejoong muttered on his other side.

Junsu shut his eyes, mouth tightening and prayed for the end of this farce.

\---

The flame flared in the darkness. Junsu cupped his hand around the end of a cigarette and inhaled, the tip glowing ember. The flame died and he put the lighter back in his pocket as a puff of smoke trickled into the night sky.

"So do I get a proper hello from you now?"

Junsu jumped in surprise, but refused to turn around.

"You look good."

Junsu snorted.

Jaejoong laughed. "You look really good. Beautiful ass. Although last time I saw it, you were being doubled up by two vibrators while a cock slid in and out of your mouth."

Junsu took a deep drag on his cigarette. Jaejoong leaned on the stone railing of the balcony next to him. They just barely weren’t touching, and Junsu wanted and needed to feel Jaejoong’s body heat again. He moved away a few inches, but Jaejoong followed, keeping their bodies close.

"Congratulations on convincing my father to make you partner," Junsu said. "I don't think I mentioned that before."

"You should congratulate me from your knees."

Junsu felt himself blush, because that is exactly what he wanted to do.

Jaejoong laughed. He turned around so his back was against the railing. "Give me a drag," he said.

Junsu handed his cigarette to him, and then he made the mistake of not looking away, watching as Jaejoong's lips closed around the filter, his cheeks hallowed out and he inhaled. The smoke trickled from his mouth. Junsu's memories slipped him back in time to when Jaejoong would let Junsu's own come slide over his lips and into Junsu's mouth.

"Do you honestly think we can work well together with all this sexual tension between us?" Jaejoong asked as he handed the cigarette back.

"No," Junsu said. "Do we have a choice?"

Jaejoong smiled at him, and then slowly licked his lips. He leaned forward, into Junsu's space and said, "I'm pretty sure that I always gave you a choice."

Junsu looked away and took a step back as lust flared low in his stomach.

"See you on Monday, Su-ah," Jaejoong said and walked past him.

Junsu stayed outside for another half hour, and then said fuck it. His erection wasn’t going to go down until he got fucked.

\---

"Su," Hyukjae said, "what is wrong with you?" He stood in front of Junsu, though Junsu looked by him. He stared at his reflection in the mirror over the dresser.

He flinched when fingers unbuttoned his dress shirt.

"Come on. If you won't tell me what's wrong, at least let me take your mind off it."

Junsu swallowed and then nodded. His shirt fell to the floor and his undershirt followed it.

When Hyukjae's lips pressed against his collarbone, Junsu gripped his shoulders and pushed him away. Sex would not get Jaejoong off his mind. It would only make it worse.

"Sorry, Hyuk, but ... I ... I just want to be alone right now."

Hyukjae frowned, but nodded. "I think I understand, but I'm pretty sure I don't understand."

"As long as you don't interrogate me. I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, I guessed that much. Please call me tomorrow."

Junsu nodded. "I will. Thanks, Hyukkie."

Junsu kissed him, and then walked him to the door of his suite. They kissed again, and then Junsu sighed as the door shut behind him. The hold he had on his emotions shattered and he growled in frustration as stubborn tears dripped down his face.

Jaejoong was not supposed to have this much control over him anymore. It'd been eight years. The flight to America was supposed to be the last time he cried over Jaejoong.

He remembered back when he was seventeen and lonely, unable to speak English and wishing for Jaejoong in his bed. The subsequent sexual flings were supposed to cure him of his need for Jaejoong.

But the man was so alluring. He didn't look any older than the last time Junsu had seen him. His skin was still pale and flawless, lips pink, eyes wide and expressive. And muscles. God, his suit had flowed down his shoulders to narrow hips. Strong legs. Junsu wondered what they'd feel like wrapped around him again.

With a sigh, Junsu pushed away from the door. He finished stripping on his way across the room. A penthouse was being prepared for him; another thing he did not need or want but his father insisted upon. It was supposed to be done already, but there had been delays, so until then, Junsu was staying in the presidential suite on the fortieth floor in a luxurious hotel. He actually missed his dorm room some nights.

Junsu lifted his suitcase onto the bed and dug in the side pocket for the familiar, small red dildo. It'd seemed so large when he was only fifteen years old. He brought it up to his mouth and sucked on it with a moan, coating it with as much spit as he could. He leaned over slightly, and then pulled the toy from his mouth. He spread his legs and reached behind him. The tip of the toy slid along his cleft and with a well-practiced push, Junsu slipped it inside himself. He winced at the sting even as it faded. He only fucked himself with it for a moment, and then, making sure it was secure, he let it go. He'd learned early that, after a certain twist, the toy would brush against his prostate. He stood straight, took another deep breath and then pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He dressed, eyes shutting as the toy moved inside him.

Junsu needed a drink.

\---

Another hand landed on his shoulder. Another slightly drunk voice asked him to dance. Junsu refused. Music thudded through his heart, lights flashed around his head. He took another shot. And then another. Every time he shifted on the bar stool, the toy moved inside him, scraping along his walls. His cock had been hard for hours.

He’d grown too tolerant of alcohol in the past, but now, he knew he had too much. He didn’t care. He hollered at the bartender, ordered one more whiskey and then settled his tab.

Junsu meant to leave the bar, but one of his favorite songs started playing, and his feet took him to the dance floor. Everything burned in one heavy blur, hands touched him, groped him, lips pressed against his neck. His body moved, pushed up against one, and then another. The only two clear feelings was the toy in his body and sweat sticking his clothes to his skin, dripping down his neck, plastering his hair to his face.

He refused offers to leave. Yes, he needed a fuck, but not a nameless, over and done with fuck. He needed emotions and pain and punishment.

Hyukjae could have given him that, but he did not want it from him. Hyukjae wasn’t nearly violent enough.

Only the need for a cigarette pulled Junsu from the club. Only a few harsh words kept a couple men from following. He stepped out into the cold night, too numb to really feel the wind, and lit a cigarette. He pulled out his phone, still drunk enough to be daring, but sober enough to see the screen and search the Internet. It didn’t take him long to find the address he wanted, and he hailed a cab.

\---

“I don’t care who you say you are,” the doorman said. “It is three in the morning and I am not disturbing Park Yoochun at three in the morning.”

Junsu huffed and rolled his eyes. Not that he really blamed the man. He did his job well, and Junsu looked less than stellar at the moment. He paced a circuit around the posh lobby of an expensive tower of condos.

He took out his phone and called the number listed as Yoochun’s. It rang four times, and then went to a voicemail. Junsu tried again, and then again. He should have just left, but he needed this. He needed it! And damn the fucking doorman for standing in his way.

Finally, on the fourth try, Yoochun answered the phone with a sleepy, “What the fuck?”

“Chunnie-hyung?”

Junsu heard a harsh intake of breath.

“Chunnie-hyung,” Junsu said again, voice just slightly begging, sounding younger than he was. Like a teenager. “I’m in your lobby and your doorman won’t let me up and he says he won’t disturb you.”

“I see you have no problems with it,” Yoochun said, voice deep.

“I need you.”

The line went dead, and Junsu frowned at his phone. A moment later though, there was a beep at the front desk and then Yoochun’s voice, twisted and metallic, saying, “Let him up, Jinki. He’s an old friend.”

Jinki did not look happy about it, but he led Junsu to the elevators. He swiped a card, and the elevator doors opened. “He’s on the thirty-sixth floor,” he muttered.

Junsu said thank you, maybe a little pissy, and hit the button. The elevator was mirrored, and Junsu got a look at his reflexion. His hair was a mess, shirt ripped at the neck (when did that happen?). And then his hard cock, so hard, and if the jeans he was wearing had been lighter, the huge wet spot in the front would have been more than visible.

The bell dinged, the doors opened. Junsu stepped through and then stopped. His eyes met Yoochun’s for a moment and then he looked down. Yoochun wore only a red robe. It was tied around the middle, but a strip of skin from shoulder to toes was visible. He showed his age a little more than Jaejoong had, but only in the wrinkles around his eyes. His body still looked amazing.

“Never thought I’d see you again,” Yoochun said.

Junsu bit his lower lip. The bravery from the drink was slowly twisting to uncertainty.

“You look good,” he said. “Freshly fucked.”

Junsu shook his head. “No … just … dancing.”

“Why are you here?” Yoochun asked. “And why are you here at three in the morning?”

Junsu looked up and met his gaze, and then he let whatever facade he still had drop so Yoochun could see the pain in his eyes and face. “I … I need … I need you.”

Yoochun smirked. “You arrogant shit. Did you ever stop to think I might have a boyfriend, curled up in my bed, asleep?”

Junsu bit his lower lip. No, he hadn’t … he hadn’t thought that.

“You’re lucky I don’t.”

Hope flared in Junsu’s chest.

“And it’s not me you need, but I’ll be a good substitute. Come on in.”

Junsu followed after him. The entry into Yoochun’s condo was deceptively plain. Brown marble tile, and a few white cabinets. Junsu took his shoes off and then continued following Yoochun into a well decorated receiving room. Dark furniture, white and beige and blue accents. The open floor plan had the kitchen to the left, and a dining space just beyond that.

Yoochun stopped in the middle of the room. “Don’t most pets crawl after their masters?”

Junsu shivered and immediately dropped to this hands and knees, the floor unforgiving. The toy jiggled inside him, tearing a gasp from his throat.

“I still watch all of the videos you sent Jaejoong,” Yoochun said, “so I know what you can handle and what you can’t. Strip.”

Junsu pushed up to his knees, eyes shutting as the toy moved again. He pulled the shirt over his head, tearing it more, and then unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down to his knees, before lifting just enough to get them off his feet. He went back to his hands and knees. His cock jerked with every breath from every moment that stretched until Yoochun said something.

“How old are you now?”

Junsu swallowed, and managed to reply, “T-twenty five.”

“Damn. I can’t decide if you’re sexier now or when you were fifteen.”

Junsu shivered from the praise. Something soft touched his back, trailed over his ass and then snapped up, along his neck. The end of a red strip of cloth came into his vision: the sash from Yoochun’s robe. Junsu gasped in appreciation as it suddenly tightened around his eyes, blocking his vision. Yoochun tied it tightly around his head and let the ends fall to Junsu’s back.

A moment later, Junsu moaned as fingers ran up the cleft of his ass, stopping against the toy.

“How long has this been inside you?” Yoochun whispered and then slowly fucked Junsu with the toy.

“F-four or five hours,” Junsu replied.

“Is this … it’s the same one, isn’t it?”

Junsu blushed, head lowered. Embarrassed, he nodded, “Yes, Chunnie-hyung.”

“Yeah, I am definitely not what you need right now. Jaejoong said he saw you at the business party.”

Junsu nodded.

“Are you still in love with him?”

Junsu’s heart constricted and he nodded. The sash soaked up his tears, but his breath came out labored. He’d always been in love with Jaejoong.

“Don’t come,” Yoochun said just before he ripped the toy from Junsu’s body. Junsu gasped. It felt weird to be free of the toy after so long with it inside him. His entrance clenched around nothing, and then two fingers pushed into him, tearing a cry from his throat.

“What do you need, Su-ah?”

Junsu swallowed, eyes squeezing shut behind the blindfold. “P-pain, pl-please. Just … make it hurt.”

Yoochun spread his fingers and curled them. “Aren’t you in enough pain?” he whispered and removed his fingers.

Junsu sniffed and shook his head. “N-no, please.”

Yoochun patted his ass, and then spanked him sharply. His heat moved in front of Junsu. Junsu’s whine broke off with a cry as Yoochun slapped him. His head jerked to the side, and he almost fell. As soon as he steadied himself, Yoochun slapped him again. His fingers tangled in Junsu’s hair, pulling up and tight. Junsu bit his lip against a cry of pain and then moaned when the head of Yoochun’s cock swiped along his lips. Tongue out, begging with little noises, Junsu tried to suck on the head, but Yoochun kept him away. Teasing. He pushed Junsu’s head to the floor.

“Hands behind your back, Su-ah.”

Junsu complied and then shivered as the plush ends of the sash were wrapped and tied tightly around his wrists. His fingers tingled almost immediately.

“No coming,” Yoochun said again. This time, when he spanked Junsu, he spanked him hard. Junsu jerked forward, his cock jumped and smacked against his stomach. The sting hadn’t faded before Yoochun was spanking him again, and then again.

“You’re not counting them,” Yoochun said.

Junsu’s eyes shut tight behind the blindfold as Yoochun spanked him again. Harder than the first. “F-four,” Junsu stammered. And then five. ten. Fourteen.

His cock pulsed, and his orgasm twisted through him. He … he couldn't … not yet. He was going to … can’t come. Nothing helped though, and just as Junsu was sure one more spank would make him, Yoochun stopped.

“Don’t move,” Yoochun whispered.

His presence left the room, Junsu craned his head to hear the soft sounds of his footsteps. Yoochun left him alone for a very long time. The need to come grew worse with every passing second. He had to come. So much. Fluid pumped from his cock, and his cock smacked against his stomach with a wet splat as every breath tightened his abs and jerked his cock up.

When Yoochun’s steps finally returned, Junsu moaned and pleaded, whispering his need over and over again. Yoochun yanked his head up by the hair again, and then something cold pressed against Junsu’s lips. He opened his mouth with a moan, and then gagged as Yoochun shoved a much larger dildo into his mouth. Junsu sucked on it as best he could though Yoochun fucked his mouth with it brutally.

“Hold this for me,” Yoochun said, and pushed until the wide part of the toy stretched past Junsu’s lips. Junsu gagged as it settled deep in his throat, but he tightened his mouth around the base. It had to of been at least eight inches.

Yoochun slapped his face again and Junsu almost threw up. Yoochun moved away and pushed Junsu’s head back to the floor. He gagged around the dildo at the new, uncomfortable angle. Yoochun spanked him again, and this time, after only four slaps, Junsu could not hold it back. He screamed loud around the toy, body spasming as his orgasm crashed through him, and he pumped come all over the floor.

“Such a disobedient child,” Yoochun said.

Junsu whined in apology. It … it was too good. Everything felt like it was spinning. Yoochun yanked the toy from his mouth and Junsu inhaled deeply.

“Naughty, naughty, pet.” The toy rammed against his side, and Junsu’s breath left him in a whoosh. Yoochun hit him in the back with it, and then on the ass, over and over, until Junsu couldn’t stay up any more. He fell to the side with a cry, but that didn’t stop Yoochun. He hit him again, in the side, and then all down his legs. Junsu only had a brief moment of relief and then the toy slammed into his ass, no lube, no spit. He cried out, screaming, as Yoochun fucked him with it. Junsu curled his legs into his stomach. Whining.

Again, Yoochun left him for only a moment and then the heat of his legs straddled Junsu’s hips. Yoochun twisted him to his back. Junsu whimpered, hands smashed underneath him.

Yoochun forced his cock into Junsu’s body next to the dildo.

Junsu suddenly became aware of his mouth, moving in words, begging for Yoochun to stop, please, just stop. But Yoochun didn’t and Junsu knew he wouldn’t. Yoochun fucked him roughly, tearing his body until it was easier for him to thrust in and out. His fist landed in Junsu’s gut, and Junsu’s gasped, throat constricting. He screamed when Yoochun punched him again, in the sides, on his chest and shoulders, and then down to his cock. Painful, agonizing punches and yanks to his balls.

He screamed as the toy was ripped from his body. Yoochun continued to fuck him, yanking his ass up. When the punching started again, Junsu had enough. His voice was hoarse from screaming, and every punch stole the word before he could say it. With a whine, and gasp, Junsu shouted it, but it took two tries to get his mouth to form the word, and it ripped from his throat.

“Ch-chemistry!”

And just like that Yoochun stopped. He pulled out of Junsu carefully, and Junsu winced when his arms went around his shoulders, lifting him into his lap. Junsu wrapped his legs around him, buried his face into Yoochun’s neck and cried. A moment later the sash was gone from his body, and his arms wrapped around Yoochun’s neck.

Yoochun’s cock was hard against his ass, and Junsu took a deep breath, shifted and then moaned as it slipped into his ripped entrance.

“Su-ah,” Yoochun said, worry in his voice.

Junsu bit down on Yoochun’s neck, lightly, as he rolled his hips.

“Hey, you said your safe word, this is not--”

“I know,” Junsu whispered. “I … I’m sorry. It …”

Yoochun pushed Junsu away to look at his face. His eyes were full of concern. “Don’t make yourself, Su-ah. Not for me.”

Junsu shut his eyes, still rocking his hips. He bit his lower lip, hissing at the sting. He ran his tongue over it, tasting blood. Some time, he’d bit right through it. Yoochun touched his lip, and Junsu moaned, licking at his finger.

“Alright, that’s it.” Yoochun pushed him away and stood up, yanking Junsu with him. “You are going to go take a shower, and then you are going to go to bed, and you are going to sleep, and then we’re going to have breakfast and talk about this.”

Junsu pouted as he let Yoochun practically carry him down the hall. His entire body hurt.

“And I am going to call Jaejoong.”

Junsu stopped and his eyes went wide. “No-no-no, please, Yoochun, don’t. Please … I … I can’t … please.”

Yoochun shook his head. “You need to talk to him.” Yoochun shoved him in the bathroom and shut the door. Junsu fell against it, begging Yoochun through the door not to call Jaejoong.

“Take a shower!” Yoochun shouted back.

Junsu leaned his head on the cool wood and sighed. He shouldn’t have been surprised. Yoochun and Jaejoong were friends first. He’d always been less important than the other. Something warm dripped down the back of his legs. He opened his eyes. Blood, and just like that his body hurt and remembered the abuse and he was sick, throwing himself to the toilet to empty his stomach. Most of it was dry heaving. His ribs ached, his neck hurt, and his ass felt like it was on fire.

It had been everything Junsu thought he needed, and now, instead of feeling better, he felt worse. Tears flowing freely. He managed to get into Yoochun’s ostentatious shower and let three shower heads pummel the blood and sweat and come from his body. When he was done, he grabbed the towel from the rack and dried off.

Unsure, he exited the bathroom. Going left meant seeing Yoochun, which he did not want to do right then. He heard the other man talking quietly, and figured he was talking to Jaejoong.

Junsu went right. Two large doors opened at the end of the hall. Junsu entered the master suite. Everything was white with black and brown and beige accents. The exact opposite of the living room.

He made sure the towel was secure around his waist and then climbed onto the king-sized bed, moaning as his sore, tired body sank into the mattress. He lay face down, back rising and falling, and lost his battle with tears. He didn’t want to be in Korea anymore. He wanted to go back to the US. Back to his friends and professors. He could easily get a job on Wall Street; he’d been offered so many of them. But the call of a filial son had made him return to his father. His father who had done nothing for him as a child.

Junsu cried himself into an uneasy sleep.

\---

Junsu woke up to comforting caresses on his back. He moaned, unwilling to wake up and pressed his face into an unfamiliar-smelling pillow. But it wasn’t until he tried to move and pain shot up his spine, and a deep ache settled low in his body that he remembered the night before.

His eyes snapped open and he lifted his head, only to come face-to-face with the one man he did not want to see. Junsu groaned and turned his head the other way.

Jaejoong chuckled. He moved and climbed over Junsu’s body, laying his entire weight on him.

Junsu grunted as more pain rolled through him. His attempt to push Jaejoong off only shoved the older man’s hard cock between his ass cheeks. Junsu moaned, rolled his hips and then sighed as Jaejoong’s cock slipped inside his body. He hissed at the sting, but Jae entered him easily, and Junsu decided the asshole had lubed himself up, just in case.

“Oh, god, baby,” Jaejoong said in his ear. His lips pressed against the back of Junsu’s neck as his hips rocked.

Junsu buried his face in the pillow, wrapping his arms around it, fighting off shivers. Jaejoong propped up on his arms so he could thrust faster. A particular twist of his hips, had Junsu moaning, ass rising, giving Jaejoong better access. Jaejoong kneeled, hands gripping Junsu’s hips as he yanked him up.

Junsu’s cock was hard, and Jaejoong wrapped his hand around it while fucking him from behind. Junsu moaned low.

And just because Junsu didn’t want Jaejoong, and he was pissed off, Junsu said his safe word.

But Jaejoong didn’t stop. He laughed and lightly smacked the back of Junsu’s head. “Yoochun was rough with you,” Jaejoong whispered as he ran his hands up and down Junsu’s bruised sides. “God, I wish I could have seen it. Sounds so sexy.”

Junsu gasped, turning his head to breathe as Jaejoong’s hand and dick quickly brought him to the edge of an orgasm. It wasn’t … It wasn’t like any of the scenarios Junsu had thought up of them reuniting.

“Still so amazing,” Jaejoong muttered and then he came, hips jerking forward and slapping against Junsu as he pumped Junsu full of come. He pulled out and away immediately, and Junsu whined as his orgasm faded.

Jaejoong chuckled. He grabbed Junsu’s hip and pulled him down, rolling him to his back. “Stroke yourself,” he said.

Junsu put a shaking hand around his cock, and with eyes shut tightly, stroked his cock. He lifted his leg as Jaejoong’s fingers dug into his entrance, scooping up the come dripping from him. A moment later they were in his mouth and Junsu tasted the combination of blood and come, lapping eagerly at Jaejoong’s fingers.

The bed dipped on the other side, and then other hands gripped his legs.

“So sexy,” Yoochun whispered.

Junsu lifted his legs and cried out as Yoochun’s cock pushed into him. They readjusted until Junsu was almost bent his half. He could no longer reach his cock and didn't try. Yoochun kissed him, tongue forcing its way past his lips. He moaned, speeding up and then Jaejoong pushed them.

“Over, go … come on, Yoochun.”

Yoochun sighed and then rolled to his back. Junsu lay between them for only a moment and then crawled over Yoochun, spreading his legs. He reached behind him and lifted Yoochun’s cock up before sitting on it. Yoochun reached behind his neck and yanked him down, kissing him again. His hand wrapped around Junsu’s cock and stroked slowly.

Jaejoong moved behind him, and Junsu cried out as the head of his cock pushed into him, pulled out, and in, fast, stretching Junsu open until both of them were inside him.

They’d never both been inside him before. It … it was … Junsu didn’t even know. Tears dripped down his cheeks as they used him, fucking him slow. It didn’t take much longer for him to come, body suddenly jerking, crying out into Yoochun’s mouth as he pumped come between their bodies. His brain stopped thinking and he lay his head on Yoochun’s chest, panting as they both fucked him. Fingers entwined with one hand and then another hand grabbed his elbow, pulling his arm back until it was against his lower back, where more fingers held him.

He cried into Yoochun’s skin as they held his hands, arms around his body, holding him securely as they fucked him. It felt like hours, or moments; Junsu didn’t know. He was too emotionally drained to care, too sore to feel anything but pain.

Yoochun came first and then Jaejoong. Junsu cried harder when Jaejoong slipped out of him. They held him between them, with Jaejoong kissing his face and Yoochun whispering words of comfort at him.

Junsu forced his eyes open and met Jaejoong’s eyes. He was happy, amused and Junsu tried to smile. “I-I love you,” Junsu whispered.

Jaejoong smile changed to a look of pity and Junsu shut his eyes with a cry and turned his head away, trying to climb away from them. It was … It was always the same. Always.

He was left with the broken heart after they were done with his body. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly thought that would be different than it had been eight years ago.

“Let me go,” Junsu shouted as Jaejoong tried to pull him back to the bed.

“Junsu,” Jae said. “Wait … don’t …”

“Let me go,” Junsu said again, and when Jaejoong still held onto him, Junsu brought his hand up and smacked him across the face.

Yoochun inhaled sharply.

Jaejoong’s eyes narrowed.

“Let me go,” Junsu said.

Jaejoong released him. “You need to let me go,” he replied.

“Fuck off.” Junsu’s knee buckled on the first step, body so sore. His clothes from the day before, were folded on a chair, but the shirt was ripped. He pulled on his jeans and then went to Yoochun’s closet, yanking a t-shirt off a hanger. The other two said nothing as he dressed, and as Junsu left the room, a little part of his heart died because he’d wanted, waited for Jaejoong to call him back. Just like at the airport. Jaejoong had let Junsu walk away without even a fight.

He walked through the massive suite, found his phone plugged in on a table in the living room. There were a lot of missed calls and he turned his phone off, before sliding his shoes on and leaving the room. Leaving the building. Leaving his heart behind.


	2. It Won't Open

“Damn it, Junsu. Open this door!”

Junsu lifted his head, eyes trying not to open. Something cold pressed against his face. He moaned as his head throbbed. Light permeated his vision, but he saw nothing until he blinked a few times. Brown … hard … table. Right a table.

Someone pounded on the door again.

Junsu told them to go away. He thought. Maybe in Korean. Maybe English. He moved his head and it knocked against something that tipped over, and liquid splashed into his face. He licked his lips. Bourbon.

He managed to get a hand around the neck of the bottle and put it upright. With a grip on the table edge, he pushed himself up. Everything swayed. The bottle of bourbon was a quarter full, and Junsu had a feeling the rest of it was in his stomach and blood stream.

“Junsu, please. Please! At least, let me know you’re okay. Please.”

Junsu barely recognized Hyukjae’s voice through his daze. The alcohol in his stomach rolled. He looked at the bottle in his hands, squeezed his eyes shut and took another swallow.

“Go away!” Junsu shouted.

“Damn it, Su! Open the door!”

“No!”

“Please, Su. I’m worried about you.”

Junsu sighed. He used the table to stand up. He staggered and fell into the walls and chairs and tables on his way across the suite. But the door wouldn’t open.

“It won’t open,” Junsu said pathetically.

“Unlock it, Su. The deadbolt.”

Junsu huffed out a long breath. He almost fell before getting his fingers around the lock. The click of the lock was loud in his ears and then the door swung open and he fell and landed on his back.

“Junsu.” Hands touched his face and Junsu moaned. He tried to bring the bottle to his lips again, but a firm hand took it away from him. “Look at me, babe. Come on.” Fingers tapped his cheeks.

“Not hard enough,” Junsu said. “Slap me.”

“You’d deserve it. Come on. Get up.”

“No. Leave me alone.”

“What is wrong with you? And why the hell are you drunk at three in the afternoon?”

“Fuck you. Go away.”

“You have to be at a business meeting at seven tomorrow. What the hell are you doing?”

Junsu rolled away from Hyukjae. He used the wall to pull himself up. “You my babysitter now? Daddy pay you more to make sure his perfect son doesn’t fuck up?”

“No, I’m your friend.”

Junsu scoffed. “We knew each other in junior high school. Big deal.”

“Su-ah,” Hyuk said, voice hurt.

Junsu stumbled to the kitchen. “You didn't even know me, Hyuk. At all. I … No one knew me. No one cared.”

“That’s not true! We gave you that party, remember? When you left? All your friends were there!”

“Yeah, and all of them are back because I’m a fucking rich bastard’s son.”

He opened the freezer and leaned into the cold air.

“What happened?” Hyuk whispered, only a couple inches behind him. Junsu shivered as Hyuk’s fingers trailed up his bare back, pausing on a few of the darkest bruises.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s not going to happen again. I’m through with this shit.”

 _Oh, Junsu, how many times have you said that?_ His inner-voice still sounded like Jaejoong.

\---

_”So things aren’t going well?”  
“I don’t know what that means. I got to have sex with him again.”  
“But?”  
“It was different.”  
“Why?”  
“I don’t know.“  
“Tell me about it.”  
“You’re still a pervert.”  
“Junsu, you called me. Not the other way around. What time is it anyway?”  
“A little after one.”  
“So you called me, and I have a patient waiting.”  
“It was … painful.”  
“I think you mean more than bruises.”  
“Can your heart bruise, Doctor?”  
“Tell me about it.”  
“I didn’t want Jaejoong. So I went to Yoochun. He fucked me like I wanted him to, and while I was passed out, he called Jaejoong, so I woke up to Jaejoong. Oh, god, you’re going to ask me how that made me feel, aren’t you?”  
“How did that make you feel, seeing Jaejoong again?”  
“God, I hate that question. I was pissed off, so mad. I didn’t want to see him, so I stayed on my stomach, but he and Yoochun fucked me anyway. And … it felt so good. I told Jaejoong I loved him and he looked at me like I was the most pathetic person in the world.”  
“And?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“Do you think that this was just building up and now that you’ve seen him, you can let him go?”  
“God, I fucking hope so.”  
“Will you see him again?”  
“I have to. The asshole is my supervisor.”  
“Well that’s going to be fun.”  
“Yeah. Fun.”_

\---

Junsu concentrated on the meeting. It was the only thing he could do to keep his mind off the man sitting next to him. Off the cologne wafting over to him. Off the subtle brush against his arm when Jaejoong reached for his glass of water.

Hopefully, his assignment would keep him away from Jaejoong for a couple days. He planned on spending the next seventy-two hours in his office making business calls to professionals in the US and China. And any free time he had, he’d study Japanese.

“Thank you, gentlemen. I believe that a little phone time, and a few well placed international deals will bring more business to our firm than ever before.”

The other men applauded, snapping Junsu out of his daze. He gathered his papers and put them in his sachet.

“Have lunch with me,” Jaejoong said, voice low.

“Yeah, no thanks.”

“It wasn’t a request. I’ll be in your office at one.”

Junsu clenched his fists. “Yes, sir.” He may not have been looking at him, but Junsu could feel his satisfied smirk.

“Is there a problem, gentlemen?” his father asked at Junsu’s elbow.

Junsu took a deep ragged breath and then met his father’s eyes. He knew his look of loathing wasn’t quite masked, but as long as his father thought it for Jaejoong rather than himself, he was okay. “Everything is fine, Father.”

His father glared at Jaejoong. “Good. See to it that it stays that way.”

Junsu knew it was the only acknowledgement his father would give the situation. He flinched when Jaejoong slapped his shoulder with a chuckle. And then he yanked himself away. He walked out of the room, not looking back, and practically stomped to his office.

"Good morning, Kim Junsu-shi," his secretary said. What was her name? Tae... something ...

"Good morning--"

"Taeyeon, sir."

"Taeyeon, right, sorry."

"It's alright, sir. Do you need anything this morning?"

"Um, no. I'm going to be on the phone for the next few hours, so try to direct any calls for me elsewhere."

"Yes, sir."

Junsu entered his office, turning to look at her. She smiled, and Junsu sighed. God, damn it. Couldn't one person in this office not look at him like he was a hooker?

His office was nice, nothing he deserved. He was starting as a manager instead of an entry level peon. One of his professors in the States once said that it didn't matter what your qualifications were, or if you understood and implemented Business Theory perfectly. All that mattered was who you knew. Junsu was learning that in Korea, that was most definitely true.

At about eleven, Junsu buzzed Taeyeon and asked for a cup of coffee.

Less than five minutes later, she brought in a mug and set it on a coaster on his desk.

"Is there anything else you need, Junsu-shi?"

"No, thank you."

Junsu hadn't expected her to stick around, nor did he expect a stocking-clad leg to stretch across his paper work. He looked up in irritation. Taeyeon leaned back on the desk, arms straight, biting her lower lip. Her spread legs showed a definite lack of panties on her body.

Junsu raised his eyebrows.

"Consider it one of my services, sir," she said and slid down the desk, in front of Junsu to her knees. Her skirt rode up, and her fingers touched her pussy.

Junsu shut his eyes, because Taeyeon was very pretty, and the look in her eyes and the way her mouth was open a tiny bit, tongue against her lower lip was making it hard to refuse.

He jumped when her hands unclasped his pants. A very loud voice screamed at him to make her stop, but another voice was saying that this would help get the feel of Jaejoong off his body. He was so on edge anyway, it wouldn't take that long. And maybe it would keep him from sporting an erection during his lunch with Jaejoong.

Her fingers curled around his cock while she pulled it out of his pants. Warm lips covered the tip and Junsu gasped, eyes flying open. Taeyeon smiled as she worked her hand up and down the base before letting more than half of him down his throat.

He moaned low, slouching, giving her better access. She licked up the underside, and then massaged his balls where they were still confined in his pants.

It didn't matter if he wanted it; and it didn't help keep his mind off Jaejoong. His orgasm was rolling through him, weaving and teasing with images of Jaejoong on his knees, figments of his first blow job and then with both Jaejoong and Yoochun in his mouth. He bit his lower lip against a cry of Jaejoong's name and pumped his release into the girl's mouth. Her hum of appreciation was lost in the haze surrounding Junsu's brain.

His cock fell from her mouth, and she tucked him back into his pants.

"Kim Jaejoong-shi has ordered lunch to arrive here at one. I'll see to it that everything is properly prepared for you."

Junsu did not open his eyes and just waved at her, body falling into that after-orgasmic blur.

She chuckled, kissed his cheek and then a moment later the door shut. Junsu moaned and put his head on his desk.

He was definitely going to get a new secretary. He gave up going back to work. He picked up the cooling cup of coffee and turned his chair around to stare at the smog covering his view of Seoul. Not really worth being this high if he couldn't even see anything.

His mind wandered to the night with Yoochun. His body still ached. His heart still hurt. The worst thing was feeling like a teenager again, so helpless and used. Part of him was determined not to feel like that again, the rest of him knew he would, because Jaejoong still had this power over him. Alluring, needy.

A voice that sounded like his old therapist said, _That is not what love is._

His door opened, no knocking, and he knew it was Jaejoong. He did not turn around.

"That's not a proper way to greet your boss," Jaejoong said as the door shut.

"I want a new secretary."

"Why?"

"Your lips look better around my cock than hers do."

Jaejoong laughed. "I heard Miss Taeyeon was fantastic on her knees. What's the problem?"

"I don't want a secretary that thinks she has to do that."

"They all do."

"I don't care. Find me a new one."

Jaejoong was silent for a moment. "Are you going to stare out the window through the entirety of this meeting?"

"The work I've done is on my desk."

"I'd like to work you over this desk."

Junsu sighed. Papers shuffled behind him, and then Jaejoong said, "You've only contacted businesses in China and Taiwan."

"It's four in the morning in the United States; not exactly business hours. I've sent emails to a few of my contacts who expressed interest in investing in Korea."

"You've always been so efficient."

Taeyeon announced lunch a moment later, and with a deep breath, Junsu finally turned around to face his demons. Or his demon.

Three men brought in trays of kimchi, rice and sizzling platters of beef and noodles. Jaejoong tipped all three of them, and Taeyeon winked at Junsu before leaving them alone again.

The thought of food made Junsu sick, but he ate anyway, eyes on his plate.

"Su-ah," Jae said, and Junsu flinched, scowling to himself.

"God, will you at least look at me?" Jaejoong said. His chopsticks clattered on a plate.

Junsu looked up, met his eyes, and then looked back down.

"You're acting like a teenager," Jae said with a laugh.

"Perfect for you then," Junsu said.

"It is rather sexy. You're so defiant, but what would you do if I walked around your desk and sat in your lap, huh?"

Heat covered his cheeks.

Jaejoong chuckled. "So why are you being such a bitch? Mad at yourself more than you're mad at me?"

Junsu shut his eyes, and he threw his chopsticks onto his half empty plate. The food rolled in his stomach. He leaned his head back on his chair and then nodded.

"I hate you," Junsu whispered, "but I hate myself more."

"You knew you were going to have to work with me. Why did you come back?"

Junsu did not have an answer to that.

"Anyway. You'll be happy to know that I have to go to Japan tomorrow. I'll be gone for a week. And then after that, I'm sending you to Taiwan. And then, if you still are ... emo ... I'll see what I can do to get you back to the States."

Junsu stared at him.

Jaejoong smiled, less smirk more amusement. "Either that or you come to Japan with me, I go to Taiwan with you and we go to the States together and see how many countries we can fuck in."

Junsu slowly smiled and then shook his head.

Jaejoong stood up, not bothering to cover his erection. "You're a great business man, Su-ah. You were a perfect student. Just remember that keeping that level of perfection is going to wear you out. I'm offering myself as a no-strings attached way to keep you relaxed. If you can keep your emotions out of it, let me know."

Jaejoong turned around and walked across his office. Before leaving, he said, "Oh,and so you're not surprised. Your mother is going to have a very pretty girl at your family dinner tonight. She's already hearing wedding bells."

Junsu moaned and put his head on the table. Jaejoong laughed and left the office.

\---

Junsu did not go to Japan with Jaejoong.

Two days later, when he arrived at the office, a different woman sat at the secretary’s desk. Or he thought it was a woman. The young man wore a pale gray suit, white shirt underneath, but no tie. His light brown hair brushed his shoulders. He was more feminine than Jaejoong, with flawless skin and innocent looking eyes.

"Um, hi," Junsu said.

The kid looked up, eyes widening. "Oh, good morning, Kim Junsu-shi."

"You are ..."

"Taemin. Jaejoong-shi says I'm your secretary until he gets back from Japan."

"O-oh. Okay."

Taemin followed him into his office. "Tetska-san left a message for Jaejoong-shi, but Jaejoong-shi said to give it to you since he's not in the office. This is his laptop." He set it on Junsu's desk. "When Jaejoong-shi goes to Tokyo to meet with Yamashita-san, it ends up being more pleasure than business, so he's given me permission to give you access to his files so you can fix whatever problem it is now that Tetska-san has with the merger. Also, a man name Vinh Nugyen called from Bangkok. I faxed over the documents he requested, and he said he would look them over and call you with any questions or just fax over the changes he wants. Xian Wu from Beijing wants an original hard copy of his contract, so I made a copy of it. All you have to do is sign it and I can send it out express to him before four. Hyunjoong's secretary dropped off the itinerary for your two oh clock meeting." Taemin tapped a stack of papers with a finger. "And Jaejoong-shi said you prefer to have lunch in your office, and he ordered you some bimbimpap with no mushrooms and extra beef. But he wasn't sure if you would want soda or tea with it. Do you have a preference?"

Junsu stared at him in shock and then shook his head. "Green tea is fine."

"I'll make sure to add that to your order, sir. Is there anything else you need?"

"No. You've already done two hours of my morning work, Taemin. Thank you."

He smiled and Junsu's heart skipped. The kid was adorable.

"Just part of the job, Junsu-shi. Oh, and Jaejoong-shi also told me not to offer you a blowjob, because you're weird about that--his words, not mine--but he also wanted you to know that I am here for that purpose if you need me."

Junsu choked on nothing as Taemin bowed and left his office. He sat on his chair. He signed the contract for Xian Wu first, calling Taemin in to pick them up. He went over the papers for his meeting with Hyunjoong later, and then had Taemin contact his secretary to make a couple of changes. After that he had nothing else to do that would postpone opening Jaejoong’s computer.

He opened Jaejoong's laptop and entered the passwords provided by Taemin. He almost spit out his coffee when he saw Jaejoong's background picture. His teenage face smiled back at him. His wiry arms around Jaejoong's broad shoulders.

Junsu had a feeling Jaejoong had set it as his background just to mess with him.

The picture had been taken when Junsu was sixteen, just a few days before his father found out and destroyed Junsu's world. They'd gone to the beach, Jaejoong had a private villa, and it had been one of the best days of Junsu's life up to that point.

With a sigh, Junsu realized it still was high on that list. Eight years in the US had done nothing but make him bitter and abrasive. There were good times and he made a lot of friends that wanted him for more than just his body. Good professors and co-workers and classmates.

But none of it compared to the carefree life he had when he was with Jaejoong.

The computer beeped and a message box popped up.

**ChunFucker**  
_how’s japan, darling?_

Junsu debated for only a second and then replied.

**JaeSucker**  
_Don’t know. This is Junsu_

**ChunFucker**  
_Su-baby! how's work?  
Jaejoong fuck you over his desk yet?_

**JaeSucker**  
_it's fine  
And that's not going to happen_

**ChunFucker**  
_Yeah, sure.  
Why are you on his computer?_

**JaeSucker**  
_He gave me access._

**ChunFucker**  
_Daring.  
there's a file of your videos on there somewhere._

**JaeSucker**  
_I don't doubt that.  
What are you doing?_

**ChunFucker**  
_Eh, "work".  
Some little punk bitch thinks he knows more about the music industry than I do, so I'm setting him straight_

**JaeSucker**  
_Isn't that sexual harrassment, hyung?_

**ChunFucker**  
_LOL - not if both parties are willing_

**JaeSucker**  
_can I ask you something, hyung?_

**ChunFucker**  
_Sure_

**JaeSucker**  
_Was Jaejoong happy with me?_

**ChunFucker**  
_You should probably ask Jaejoong that  
And you're entering into emotions, Su-ah  
Jaejoong does not do emotions_

**JaeSucker**  
_yeah  
i know_

**ChunFucker**  
_that being said though  
i'm sure if he wasn't happy with you, he wouldn't have fucked you for so long_

**JaeSucker**  
_comforting_

**ChunFucker**  
_you have to remember too that Jae did more than fuck you_

**JaeSucker**  
_yeah, i know_

**_yamapi_love_** has joined the conversation

**yamapi_love**  
_you two bitches talkin' smack about me_

**JaeSucker**  
_no_

**ChunFucker**  
_always_

**JaeSucker**  
_i love your secretary, jaejoong  
i have no work to do until after lunch_

**yamapi_love**  
_you should let him suck you off until then  
he's the only person who I can honestly say is better than you at sucking cock_

**ChunFucker**  
_no he's not_

**yamapi_love**  
_I think he is.  
how about it su?  
wanna have a suck off and let me judge_

**JaeSucker**  
_um, no_

**ChunFucker**  
_you'll need a second opinion  
i nominate myself_

**JaeSucker**  
_you two are shitheads_

Junsu signed out of the chat program with a smile on his face.

A moment later, his phone vibrated. He sifted it from his pocket and then smiled at the message from Jaejoong.

**Jaejoong:** _i want to fuck you on your desk babe_

Junsu laughed and sent back. _Ah, shoot. Today was the day I was ready to bend over for you. Too bad. Guess Hyunjoong will do._

**Jaejoong** _just my luck. His knees are ticklish, just FYI_

It was with a much lighter heart that Junsu finished his day of work.

\---

“Is there anything else you need before I go home?” Taemin asked from the door.

Junsu looked up from his computer where he was drafting another email to an American corporation. “No, thank you, Taemin. I’m not sure I’m going to give you back to Jaejoong.”

Taemin smiled and then said, “And you haven’t even sampled my best talent.”

Junsu rolled his eyes with a smile. “Have a good night, Taemin.”

“Thank you, hyung.”

Junsu sat up suddenly and said, “Taemin, wait.”

“Change your mind?” he asked and leaned against the door frame. He licked his lips.

Junsu smiled. “No, but I have a question. How old are you?”

“Nineteen.”

“How long have you been Jaejoong’s secretary?”

“Since I graduated. Why?”

Junsu stood up and moved to the other side of his desk. He jumped and sat on top of it and then leaned back on his hands, legs spread slightly. Taemin followed the movements and then let his eyes obviously drop to Junsu’s crotch.

“How long have you known Jaejoong?”

Taemin frowned.

“Trust me when I say you can tell me.”

Taemin said nothing for a long time. “Tell me why you want to know. I don’t want him to get in trouble.”

Junsu nodded. “Jaejoong moved into my house when I was fourteen. For my fifteenth birthday, he gave me my first blowjob and a dildo and a bottle of lube.”

Taemin’s eyes went wide. “No shit.”

“Yeah. Crazy.”

Taemin bit his lip and looked away and then shrugged and said, “I … He likes my mom’s ramen shop. I met him when I was thirteen.”

“Good to know he hasn’t changed. Perverted bastard.”

“He didn’t touch me until I was older though. Not until I was sixteen and I actually came on to him first.”

Junsu chuckled. “Really?”

“Yeah. He’s hot, and he kept giving me hints. So I sucked him off one day.”

“And then he just gave you a job? Fill in the blanks for me.”

“My mom couldn’t afford to send me to college, and I had a hard time in school, but I graduated. I--I didn’t pass the entrance exam, and my mom was devastated and Jaejoong was there when she was yelling and crying at me and he said that he’d pay to have a tutor and get me a job until I could go to college. He’s paying most of my tuition.”

That didn’t sound like Jaejoong at all. Junsu frowned, not looking up at Taemin. It certainly appeared that Jaejoong cared about Taemin a lot more than he cared about Junsu. He heard Taemin approach, but he didn’t look up until the younger man was between his legs, hands on his knees.

“Did you fall in love with him?” Junsu whispered, just before Taemin kissed him. Those soft lips parted, a small tongue licked at Junsu’s lower lip. Junsu met it with his own, and then pulled his head away.

Taemin smiled. “No.”

“I wonder why I did.”

Taemin pouted and stepped back.

Junsu smiled and ran his hand down Taemin’s arm. “You have a week to seduce me. That pout is doing a really good job.”

Taemin laughed and hugged Junsu tightly. “Jaejoong bet me three hundred dollars that I’d have you in less than two days.”

“Well, you’ve had me. A kiss anyway. I’ll tell Jaejoong that counts.”

Taemin grinned at him and then blew long hair out of his eyes. “I really want to see you naked though, hyung.”

Junsu shook his head. “Better wait until Jaejoong gets back.”

“Oh, I’m going to be so fucking horny.”

“Me, too, kid. Go home.”

“Fine.” Taemin kissed Junsu again, more aggressive a hand holding the back of Junsu’s neck. Junsu didn’t mind. The kid had some amazing lips and a wickedly skillful tongue. At the first twitch of his cock, he pushed Taemin away and again told him to go home.

“Don’t stay too late, hyung,” Taemin said. “You have a meeting with Seunghyun at eight tomorrow. You should get some rest.”

“I will.”

\---

“Why are you still awake?” Jaejoong said as soon as he answered his phone.

“We’re in the same timezone; why are you still awake?”

“I’m having a post-fantastic-sex cigarette. You’re still in the office, aren’t you?”

“No,” Junsu said as he stared out at the city at night. There were a lot of windows in a lot of buildings still blaring golden with bad lighting. Junsu wondered how many of them were people up late, cramming one last bit of information into a proposal.

“You’re such a liar. Go home, Su-ah.”

“Nah. I’ll just have to be here again in five hours. My couch is comfortable.”

“Are you lying on it now with your cock out of your pants?”

“No. I’m by the window.”

“Even better. Wondering if anyone can see.”

“I’m not stroking off.”

“You should. I could talk to you if you want.”

“No thanks.”

“Oh, come on. I missed having phone sex with you.”

“You missed a lot of sexual things about me, hyung, but did you ever miss me?”

“Su-ah.”

“I’m serious, hyung.”

“Of course I missed you, but really, you weren’t anything more than a sexy ass and a cute smile to me. So pretty much everything I missed about you is sexual.”

“God, do you have to be so honest?”

“To you, yes.”

Junsu shut his eyes against tears. “Taemin told me what you’re doing for him.”

“Taemin is a good kid. And he’s smart. He deserves a chance.”

“But I don’t … I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

Junsu growled in frustration and went to the middle of his office. He paced back and forth, bare toes clenching the carpet.

“I just … I don’t get you.”

“You don’t understand why I’m helping Taemin and his family?”

“No, I don’t. I know it’s not out of a sense of guilt for fucking a sixteen-year-old boy.”

Jaejoong snorted. “I can’t feel guilty for taking what I want, Su-ah. It’s why I’m a successful businessman. I told you. Taemin is a good kid. And before you ask, yes, you were a good kid too. But you had everything, Junsu. You had money and a chance just handed to you. No, I’m not saying this so you feel guilty. You were born into a chance, and like the good businessman you are, you took it, and even now you’re in that posh office because of who you were when you were born. Kids like Taemin don’t get things that easily. Now your next question is going to be, what if you weren’t given everything? Would I have offered to help? Yes, Su-ah, I would have. And I did give you what you needed. You needed a friend. You needed a confidant. You needed attention. You can’t blame me because you fell in love.”

“I …” Junsu hung up. He let his phone fall to the floor, and then he followed it. He curled into a little ball and waited through tears as his heart broke again and again.

\--

_”I think I get it now.”  
“Get what?”  
“Jaejoong. Me. Him. Us. Whatever.”  
“What do you get about it?”  
“I didn’t have love as a child, or affection, or support, and I latched on to the one person who offered it to me, even if his methods were on the wrong side of morality.”  
“Well done. I told you that when you were eighteen.”  
“Yeah, well, you were a bitch when I was eighteen.”  
“So this new epiphany. How does it make you feel?”  
“I don’t know. Empty. Sort of like the emotional bullshit over the last ten years of my life was pointless.”  
“But you love him.”  
“Yes.”  
“I shouldn’t say this, as a professional, but considering that you have not been my patient for many years, I don’t feel like I have to be delicate with you. Junsu, you will probably love Jaejoong for the rest of your life, in one way or another. You won’t get over it.”  
“Reassuring.”  
“It’s up to you to decide what is next. Men like him don’t ever change. Even if you get close to him, as co-workers, trusted associates, always remember that. If you can accept your own feelings, come to terms with them, then you will be able to move on.”  
“You know if you weren’t such a bitch back then, I probably would have listened to you.”  
“Again, as a professional I shouldn’t say this, but you’re still a little bastard.”  
“So have you watched my amateur porn videos yet?”  
“That is completely--”  
“Inappropriate, I know. But I’m not asking you this as a patient. Call it a curiosity.”  
“No. I did not.”  
“You should. I’ve been told they’re rather good.”_

\---

The lights dimmed in the room. Junsu had his eyes shut, but he still saw the change. He smiled without opening his eyes. The bed dipped and fingers touched his stomach. They'd just taken off from Los Angeles, on the way across the Pacific and home to Korea. It was a perfect time to take a nap in his father's company jet.

"Want to become part of the Mile High Club?"

Junsu chuckled. "Not particularly. I want to sleep."

Those fingers unbuttoned his dress shirt. Junsu opened his eyes when his nipple was flicked through his undershirt.

"You're boring," Jaejoong said with a pout.

"You're old. Let me sleep."

"Let me tire you out."

"I'm already tired, hyung."

"I hate this new you with self-control," Jaejoong said as he climbed onto the small bed and straddled Junsu's hips. He pushed Junsu's shirt open. Junsu propped up on his elbows and let the shirt fall off his shoulders. Another shift and Jaejoong tugged it off his arms, leaving him in a tank top.

"You're determined to talk me out of my self-control, aren't you?" Junsu said as he laid back down. Jaejoong crossed his arms, grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, leaving his upper body bare.

Junsu couldn't help it. He reached up and pressed his hands flat against Jaejoong's stomach. Jaejoong smiled and ran his hands up and down Junsu's arms.

"How did you manage to keep your body like this, hyung? With all your drinking and debauchery?"

"Diet and lots of exercise. And lots of sex. Sex is one of the best ways to exercise your abdominal muscles."

"Yeah." Junsu ran his fingers over the ridges of Jaejoong's abs. "You must have lots and lots of sex."

"More than you, which is pretty sad since you're only twenty-five and you're beyond attractive. Anyone in the building would fuck you if you asked."

Junsu sat up again, gripping Jaejoong's shoulder to lift his upper body. Jaejoong moved back, giving him room. His hands wrapped around Junsu's waist. When he leaned in for a kiss, Junsu turned his head and leaned away. Jaejoong made a noise, but kissed his collarbone instead, right at the edge of the tank top.

"It's not just my self-control that you'll shatter, hyung," Junsu said.

"Yeah. It'll feel like your cock will shatter if you'll let me give you the most intense orgasm you've had in a long time."

"Not what I meant."

"I know." He tugged on Junsu's top and he lifted his arms for Jaejoong to pull it off. "And if you're having problems rationalizing this, just call it a celebration of a successful business trip to America. You were amazing in those meetings, Su-ah. Four more contracts, three new products, an infinite amount of potential contacts. Your father is a bastard, and won't tell you how much of an impact you're having on his company. He just wants the money. In a few years, if you want, you can start your own company. Take away some of his clients."

Junsu smirked. "With you as partner, huh?"

Jaejoong ran his hands over Junsu's bare chest. He licked his lips. "No. I owe your father a lot, and he has a lot of blackmail information on me, including that I took advantage of his fourteen year old son."

"I'm not sure I can do this without getting all emotional about it," Junsu said even as he unclasped Jaejoong's khakis. Jaejoong did the same to Junsu's dress pants.

"I know."

They undressed each other silently. But when Jaejoong went for a kiss, Junsu moved away again. Jaejoong frowned. Their eyes met and then Jaejoong sighed.

"Fine," he said and pushed Junsu back to the bed. Junsu shut his eyes as Jaejoong's lips kissed down his shoulder, over his bicep, and to his nipple. His tongue rolled over the bud before he sucked it into his mouth. Junsu sighed. His hands stayed at Jaejoong's waist, not moving, fingers clenching.

Part of him didn't want to do this, because if he did, then Jaejoong won. Jaejoong was right. Jaejoong was in control. But the rest of him (including his hard cock) said that he needed it. He needed to be with Jaejoong again. Even if it was painful. Even if too many emotions clouded his brain. He gasped, skin twitching as Jaejoong's tongue traced his belly button.

One of Jaejoong's hands continued to caress his chest and stomach. The other one wrapped around Junsu's cock, loose, barely stroking. A stream of fluid pumped from the tip and dripped to his stomach. Jaejoong's lips closed around the crown for long enough to lick it up and then moved away, despite Junsu's moan of protest.

Jaejoong’s lips trailed around skin at the bend of Junsu's hip and sucked then he sucked hard. Junsu finally moved his hands, settling them on Jaejoong's head while he abused Junsu's abs and thighs, ignoring his cock.

Junsu stopped thinking. Because if he thought of how soft Jaejoong was being, how caring, and how sexy, he'd think about other things. He couldn't ... he felt a tear drip down the side of his face.

"I-I can't do this, Jaejoong," Junsu whispered.

"Then don't," Jaejoong whispered. "Let me do it."

"No. I ..." Junsu broke off with a moan as Jaejoong engulfed his cock. "Bitch."

Jaejoong chuckled and ran his hands up and down Junsu's thighs. With a sigh, Junsu spread his legs as Jaejoong sucked on him.

It felt really good. He hadn't had a blow job or sex or anything more than his right hand since Taeyeon had sucked him off over three weeks ago. This orgasm was crashing through him just about as fast as that one had. Junsu's fingers tangled in Jaejoong's hair, yanking lightly as he bit his lip against the pleasure. He didn't want to come already, but Jaejoong's throat added just the right amout of pressure to the head of his cock at the same time his hand squeezed in just the right spot at the base. He gasped, shoulders lifting off the bed as he came, vision blurring behind closed eyes. Jaejoong hummed and sucked harder, swallowing, throat tightening around the sensitive skin. Shots of pleasure jolted through Junsu's skin and that orgasm may have been enough to keep the edge off, but his cock was not going to go down any time soon.

Jaejoong released his cock with an obscene slurp and then kissed up Junsu's chest, pausing to suck on both nipples and chew on his neck.

"Let me kiss you, Su-ah," Jaejoong whispered as he lowered his hips and pressed his erection into Junsu's stomach. Junsu's legs lifted and he wrapped them around Jaejoong's waist.

"No. I'm going to let you fuck me. Isn't that enough?"

Jaejoong propped up on his hands and stared down at Junsu as he rolled his hips. "Fucking isn't as emotional as kissing."

"You taught me that."

Jaejoong smirked. "We used to kiss all the time."

"That's my point."

"Babe, you really are a piece of work, you know that."

"Again, you taught me. Are you going to fuck me or not?"

"Yeah." Jaejoong lowered his head and kissed Junsu's cheek. Junsu sighed as Jaejoong moved and climbed off the bed.

With eyes half closed, he watched Jaejoong as he opened a drawer in the wall. The plane hit a bit of turbulence and Jaejoong lost his balance for a moment. Junsu laughed at him. Jaejoong chucked the bottle of lube at him, and Junsu snatched it out of the air. He snapped open the top and covered his fingers with it.

"You going to do the work?" Jae said as he kneeled at the edge of the bed.

Junsu pulled his legs up, bending his knees. He reached around his hip and pressed a slick finger into his body. His eyes shut as he probed deeper, but at this angel it wasn't deep enough. He pushed in a second finger. He really couldn't remember the last time he went so long without sex. Probably when he was fourteen.

Jaejoong's hands gripped his ass and spread him open. A finger touched him and slipped inside with his.

"You really are amazing," Jaejoong whispered before leaning forward and kissing Junsu's knee.

Junsu shut his eyes, so he wouldn't have to see Jaejoong's face. He thought about turning around and having Jaejoong fuck him from behind, but then Jaejoong's cock pushed against his tight body, and Junsu panted, cried out, as he was breached and Jaejoong settled completely inside him all at once.

Junsu's eyes squeezed shut, liquid dripping from the corners while he tried to breathe and get used to being so full so quickly.

Lips pressed against his face.

"You alright?" Jaejoong whispered, and then stole Junsu's answer in a short kiss on his lips.

Junsu's eyes flew open, irritated and he yanked his head away. "Bastard."

Jaejoong smiled. "I take what I want given the opportunity." He pulled in and out slowly, and Junsu moaned. His legs spread and wrapped around Jaejoong's body again. Jaejoong adjusted, hooking one arm around Junsu's neck. He ran his hand of his other arm up and down Junsu's body, fingers teasing his cock and ticklish sides.

"Fuck, Jae," Junsu said, eyes shut tight again.

"I'm going to kiss you," Jaejoong said, lips close. Junsu's mouth opened and Jaejoong kissed him, tongue pumping into his mouth at the same slow pace as the thrusts into his body.

Junsu was shaking in minutes. His hands clutched onto Jaejoong's back. His hips rolled up to meet Jaejoong's thrusts.

The plane suddenly shook and the seat belt light dinged on above them, casting a pale orange glow to Jaejoong's skin.

Jaejoong sped up, hooking one of Junsu's legs on his elbow for better leverage. Junsu's body reveled in the treatment, but his heart still hurt, and everything about this was going to be so painful in the morning.

"H-ha-harder, fuck," Junsu said.

Jaejoong growled and suddenly kneeled, yanking himself away from Junsu. He gripped the back of Junsu's thighs, bending him in half until Junsu's knees were next to his face and then sped up. Thrusting fast and deep.

"God, I ... fuck, I want your legs tied to a headboard like this," Jaejoong said. He moved his hand, and that leg curled around his shoulder. He yanked on Junsu's cock and balls roughly. Junsu cried out, head pushing against the bed roughly. He begged Jaejoong in some language. Probably English.

A second orgasm crashed through him, painful and quick, pulled from his body by Jaejoong's hand. The first splash of come landed on his cheek, and he whined as the rest covered his neck and chest. Jaejoong's tongue landed on his face, and the man moaned as he licked up the come. The next kiss was tangy, and Junsu moaned as his body and mind tried to recover from the orgasm even as Jaejoong continued to move inside him.

"You want come in your ass for the rest of the flight, or do you want to suck on me?" Jaejoong asked.

Junsu wanted to feel Jaejoong come inside him, but yeah, that was going to be messy. He put his hands on Jaejoong's hips and pushed him away. Jaejoong smiled and sat back on his feet, cock in hand stroking, while Junsu flipped around. Jaejoong stopped him and with his other hand, scooped up the rest of the come on Junsu's body and fed it to him. Junsu moaned, sucking and licking on Jaejoong's fingers.

With a growl, Jaejoong gripped Junsu's face and yanked his head down. Junsu smirked and opened his mouth, sucking Jaejoong's cock past his lips, into his throat, almost all the way before letting up, adjusting, and taking him deep again. Jaejoong's fingers yanked Junsu's head up and down, his hips jerked forward until Junsu's face was against Jaejoong's sweaty stomach, over and over again.

Junsu moaned as Jaejoong's cock twitched, and Jaejoong gasped, head falling back, body stilling as Junsu drew his release just to the edge, held it there and then took him deep one more time, and Jaejoong shouted out his name and came. Junsu sucked harder and swallowed the heavy load, keeping Jaejoong in his mouth until the older man made an irritated noise and pushed him away.

Junsu laughed and curled on his side, fingers trailing over Jaejoong's hip as the other recovered from his orgasm. Jaejoong's eyes shut and then he fell to his side, next to Junsu. They rearranged until Junsu was curled into Jaejoong's side, head on his chest.

"Can I ask you something, hyung?"

"Maybe."

"If you had to take the sex out of it, would you say that you were happy with me?"

"Emotions, babe."

"I know. But I asked Yoochun, and he said I had to ask you."

Jaejoong made Junsu look at him. "Are you looking for closure or something? You were a good fuck. You were a great kid. And you are smart and funny. And you’re a sexy adult and a shrewd business man. Why isn’t that enough? I don’t hate you. I don’t love you. Why can’t I just like you?"

Junsu frowned.

"You should stop looking for something that isn’t there., Su-ah. It will only drive you crazy."

"So even this, after so many years, it's nothing but a fuck."

"Nope."

Junsu sighed and hid his face in Jaejoong's side. When he was sure that the pain in his heart was going to be too much, he rolled on his other side and held the pillow instead. Jaejoong molded to his back.

"Go away," Junsu said. "If this is nothing but a fuck then don't cuddle with me like it's more."

Jaejoong kissed his neck. "This is nothing but a cuddle, Junsu. You need to learn to do things just to do them. You throw your heart and everything you are into everything you do. I told you before. It's going to wear you out. Now, try to relax and get some sleep. We have a meeting with your father practically right after we land."

Junsu sighed. Just a fuck. Just a cuddle. This was just a nap. Jaejoong's body heat made the small sleeping compartment warm and comfortable. It was hard not to hurt, hard not to let his heartbreak. Junsu wondered how many more times Jaejoong would fuck him before he started feeling the same. He wondered if he'd ever feel the same and treat his moments with Jaejoong as just a fuck. Everyone else in his life had been just a fuck. Everyone in high school. Everyone in college. Why was this man behind him so special?

Junsu had no answer to that.


End file.
